I want to share one of the MOST COMMON questions I get from guys in your situation.
"James, how do I use humor in my Best Man Speech?"
It's a great question.
Guys like you always ask me this because there is so much pressure and expectation to be hilarious when delivering your Best Man speech.
But I want you to keep something in mind....
This expectation isn't real.
The Best Man speeches that create this expectation aren’t normal speeches.
You've probably seen Best Man speeches in movies, like 'Old School' and 'Wedding Crashers,' and when you search on YouTube, the videos that get the most attention are the ones that are provocative and outrageous.
What I'm telling you is, the humor expectation bar is set way too high.
"Ok, that nice to hear. But, James, how should I use humor in MY Best Man Speech?"
Here’s the answer...
The most powerful thing to can do when you're creating and delivering your Best Man speech is to be yourself.
A lot of guys get up on the big day and act like its amateur night at a comedy club. Have you ever been to a stand-up comedy amateur night?? It's not pretty.
Why would you attempt to be someone you're not and do something you've never done before on one of the most important and memorable nights of your year?
Instead of focusing on being funny, it's more important that you come off as authentic when you deliver your Best Man speech.
Humans are really, really good at sensing when someone is lying, or being inauthentic.
And the moment you deliver that cheezy line, that would never come out of your mouth on a normal day they’re gonna peg you as a delivering an inauthentic speech borrowed off the internet right then and there.
Ok, so. Be yourself. We got that covered. But, sometimes, James, I'm a funny guy, so HOW do I be funny.
I've got a quick answer and then some ACTION STEPS for you too.
The quick answer: If you can create a joke on your own, then that probably means it's authentic. Perfect. Use it.
"Ok, great. Thanks, James Be yourself. Great advice...I thought you were against all the fluffy stuff about Best Man speeches on the internet."
Yes, I am! So here are my three ridiculously easy ways to use humor in your Best Man Speech.
1. Build him up, then knock him down.
Start by writing a list of some of the groom's positive qualities.
And then, write down one of his negative qualities.
You want to think of something superficial, something on the outside, something about the groom appearance, or something he does that most people know about.
Its got to be something that everyone in the audience can relate to.
You're going to list off a few of his best qualities in a complimentary way, and then add a negative one on end as the zinger.
Here's a couple I came up with.
"John, you are a genuinely caring and generous friend. But if I ever have to spend 10 minutes to help you find your cell phone when we're late for a movie again, I might not be your friend much longer."
"One of the things I'd admire most about you John is your fashion sense and attention to details. You always dress like a pro, but honestly man, you couldn't even shave for your wedding?"(Assuming the groom is rocking a beard)
2. Thank the bride for changing the groom.
Write down a couple of ways the groom has changed for the BETTER since he met the bride.
For the better!
You want to avoid saying something like...
“Now that John is with Julie, he never comes out to watch football with the boys anymore. You've changed, dude!”
Describe something, gross or annoying that the groom used to do when he was single, but he doesn't do it anymore since he met the bride.
Like this...
"Ever since John met Julie he's strangely forgotten about his obsession with World of Warcraft."
"I was over at John and Julies new place a week ago, and I couldn't believe how tidy and clean it was. When I used to live with John, I remember having to remind him on a weekly basis what the washcloth in the sink is used for."
3. Self-deprecating
Write a few superficial qualities about yourself that you can poke fun at.
Same as describing the groom, you want to write things that are superficial, something on the outside, something about your appearance, or something that most people know about.
Check these out...
"You're the kind of guy, John who makes everyone around you feel comfortable. I feel as though I never have to act differently or hide who I am around you. Even though, you've encouraged me to do so on many occasions."
"A lot of people think delivering a Best Man speech is a stressful thing to do - if I make the wrong move, I could end up looking like a fool or embarrassing myself. But, in fact, it's not up here that I'm worried about, I'm much more concerned about the dance floor. Just wait, you'll see."
It can actually be really simple to get a laugh at a wedding. Everyone's in a good mood, surrounded by their friends and family, the booze is starting to flow. Those people will laugh about just about anything... if you do it in the right way.
Remember. Be yourself.
- James